Let it go
by Trinxy
Summary: A starry night. The faint light from the stars flickers across the sky and gives her a sense of peace. A faint moment of calm in the midst of the chaos. A sob breaks free. Angst. Oneshot.


_**So. I wanted to try some angst. To see if I could pull that off. Here it is. **_

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A starry night. The faint light from the stars flickers across the sky and gives her a sense of peace. A faint moment of calm in the midst of the chaos.

She had to get out from the damn building.

It has been two days, but nothing has changed. Nothing. She couldn't stand the pale room anymore. She couldn't stand the beeping, the hum of the machines. She just … couldn't.

Without her permission, a sob emanates somewhere from her. She clasps her mouth with her hand and tries to shut out the rest of them. No, she will not give in.

But it's too late for that. Too late for holding back tears, as one of them rolls down her face, landing on her coat. Another one follows its trail. And another.

She can't hold back anymore. So, she lets go.

Luckily, there is a park bench nearby, so she takes the few final steps to sit down there. Covering her face with her hands, she lets the sobs carry through her, letting the tears fall freely.

This was all her fault.

She was the one who let him go into the building, unprotected. She was the one who said that it was just a visit to the victim's family. She should have read the signs. She should have noticed that something was off with the Simmon's history, especially his family connections. She should have realised that way before.

But she didn't.

They went into the apartment building together, but he had insisted going in first. To take the lead. She just shook her head and laughed at him, it was just silly. He had smiled back at her, his eyes bright, little crinkles in the corner of his eyes. The same smile that made her fall in love with him.

She should have realised that there was something different in that building as they stepped inside. No, the poor conditions of life weren't a sign. She had been in the bad neighbourhoods many times. She was used to it.

But the dead silence of the house should have been giveaway. No apartment building should have been that silent.

No.

But she didn't see that. She was too busy laughing at his antics. And he was too busy making her smile.

And then it happened.

The apartment where they were headed just blew up.

Everything around her was in chaos. The hot hair pushed her flat onto the ground, covering her with dust and debris. But as she was falling to the ground, she saw how the force of the explosion flung him across the lobby, crashing his head against the wall.

She watched in horror how his body instantly went limp and he slid down along the wall and sagged into a heap of limbs to the ground.

A horrified scream tore free from her throat and she tried to stand up. But she couldn't. At least not so fast. Something was holding her leg. She looked down and saw a large piece what used to be a wall lying on top of her.

A wave of dizziness surrounded her, but she gritted her teeth and tried to push the debris away. It took few minutes, but she managed to free her legs. Unsteadily, she stood up and as soon as her feet carried her, she limped towards him. She needed to see if he was okay, that he wasn't injured.

Sinking down, beside him, she checked his vitals. His heart was still beating and he seemed to be breathing as well.

Softly, she touched his face. "Babe, wake up. Wake up, please."

He didn't react to her voice. So she shook him, gently. But no luck either. He didn't react.

While one of her hands reached into her pocket and fished out her phone to call 911, the other gently stroked his face.

He needed to stay alive.

And now here they are. He is lying upstairs in the hospital bed. He's been unconscious for two days and she's been sitting in front of the hospital, crying her eyes out.

There isn't any way she can stop the flow of the tears. She just can't. She knows that she has to be strong for him. For his family. But this kind of moment of weakness is necessary. For her.

There is no way she can stay sane, if he dies. Or worse, if he stays in coma forever.

Because she blames herself.

She would never forgive herself.

She continues sobbing, not even bothering to force herself to stop.

After what seems to be an eternity, her eyes cannot seem to produce any tears anymore. Her sobs subside slowly and she feels like she can breathe a little bit easier.

She looks up to the sky. The stars continue flickering, casting silver shadows around her.

"Please," she whispers towards the stars. Begging for some kind of a miracle. For him to wake up.

For him to return to her.

Suddenly, she feels a hand on her shoulder. She turns around quickly to see Alexis standing there.

"Alexis?" she whispers, surprised, wiping away the remainder of her tears.

"Kate, you should come up," the redhead says softly.

"What happened?" Kate asks, suddenly feeling anxiety levels rising inside of her. Her hands start to shake again.

Alexis covers Kate's hand with hers and whispers softly. "Come upstairs. Dad woke up. He is asking for you."

And just like that, the weight of the world and the universe is lifted from her soul and for the first time in three days, a smile breaks free.

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_**So, how did I do? **_

_**Review?  
**_


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